Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Being 50+ has it's
Some may say this is TMI (too much info!), but it was something I had to do and want to encourage others to do it as well! I went and had my first colonoscopy! First and foremost.....if you gag with any type of medicine other than cough syrup like me, opt for the pill prep! They are huge HORSE pills, but so much easier than swallowing all that gross liquid! Do not think that when nothing happens in an hour or so, that you must not have anything in you........you do!!!! So from 4pm til 2:30 am, the day before my procedure I lost 6 lbs, just running back and forth to the bathroom! Wait wasn't too long.....they brought me back, gave me an IV and told me the anesthesiologist would come and talk to me. Alrighty then! As I am waiting, another patient walks back to have his procedure done....Nurse asks him questions about medications he took, when he last ate, what PREP did you use??? Well, this
idiot guy, says he had a baby aspirin in the am, last ate about 36 hours ago, and FASTED for his prep! UH! HELLO! The nurse asked him why he didn't prep. He said he didn't recall being told that, or about not taking aspirin for a week before procedure!!!!! But he did wonder about it! So when you wonder, pick up the phone and call the doctor.....ding dong! So guess who didn't get his Colonoscopy that day!
But I did and I am fine! Don't need to have this fun again for another 10 years! (fingers are crossed!)
And now I leave you with this!
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)
13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"